I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Randomize
