She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
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