So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
