I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
Randomize
