the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
Randomize
