plz talk dirty to me
Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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