i would punch a child for taco bell
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
