Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
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