fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize