I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
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