Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
Randomize
