It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
We had sex on a dog bed..
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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