just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
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