Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
Randomize
