just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
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