How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
