Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
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