Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
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