For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
Randomize
