well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
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