Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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