Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
Randomize
