I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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