i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Randomize
