I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
Randomize
