Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
I'm way too hungover for life right now
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
Randomize
