I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
You may now shotgun with the bride
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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