we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
Randomize