I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
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