he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
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