we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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