watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Randomize
