this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
I have already put on my inside pants.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
he just fucked me for my cheese..
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
Randomize
