Moan for me like Helen Keller
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
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