she was so not down for the gang bang
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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