Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
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