The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
Randomize