Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
Sorry my hands just texted you
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
Randomize
