Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
The girls stopped by my apartment. They caught me naked with a nearly empty bottle of vodka in one hand, drawing crop circles in the carpet with the vacuum.
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Randomize
