Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Randomize
