He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
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