I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Randomize
