shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize