So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
Randomize
