I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
Randomize
