every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Randomize
