Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
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