remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
