Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
