I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
Randomize
