That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize
