ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
We need to rekindle our bromance
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
Randomize
