dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
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