I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
Just high enough for therapy.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize
