I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
