We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Randomize
