all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
