you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
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