oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
Randomize
